Insanity's Hold
by AlwaysYourAibou
Summary: After a horrible accident, Yugi develops Survivor's Syndrome. A suicide attempt sends him a vision of exactly what he wants to see. Character deaths, suicide attempt. Dedicated to CrazyAboutYugi and supporters
1. Chapter 1

A/N~ This one is dedicated to CrazyAboutYugi for her tough time and great attitude about everything. Probably won't be more than three chapters long. Hope you like it, love!

Title: Insanity's Hold

Summary: After a horrible accident, Yugi develops _Survivor's_Syndrome. A suicide attempt sends him a vision of exactly what he wants to see. Character deaths, suicide attempt, yaoi.

Disclaimer: I don't own YGO.

Insanity's Hold

Yugi laid in his bed, only pretending to be asleep. His yami and grandfather were in the room, whispering about him. Yugi was careful to keep his breathing heavily but slow in order to keep them from knowing his current awakened state. Yugi didn't know how long Atemu had been watching him before he heard his grandfather enter the room.

"He is still in shock, Atemu." Yugi's grandfather said patiently. "You must give him more time."

Atemu sighed deeply and Yugi squinted one eye open to see his other half rubbing his temple with on hand and leaning against the wall with the other. "I know, I know. I just can't stand this." He whispered. "I'm worried about him. He barely sleeps, he doesn't eat, he won't leave the house---,"

"Where do you expect him to go?" His grandfather asked calmly.

"Anywhere." His darkness replied. "It's not healthy for him to sit here all day crying. What am I talking about, you've seen him! We've tried talking to him but he won't say anything. What else can I do?"

Yugi closed his eye and let out a soft moan, rolling onto his side. The other two people in the room were extremely quiet and Yugi was sure they were watching him carefully. Yugi's grandfather spoke after a few minutes of complete silence. "Perhaps it would be best to finish this conversation elsewhere. Yugi needs his rest."

Yugi waited as they left the room. The click of his door told him they were gone for good. Yugi sat up and looked at his clock. It was two in the morning. His guardians were up this late worrying about him? Yugi frowned and got out of bed. He crept over to his bathroom and shut the door. The teen looked in the sink and took a deep breath. Turning the faucet on, he slashed some cold water on his face, massaging his eyes wearily.

The young teen looked up in the mirror and realized the reasons for his guardian's concerns. The teen had dark bas under his eyes, his already thin body looked unhealthy, and his spiky hair drooped carelessly across his face. Yugi took some more water and used it to make his hair stand up again. When it didn't work, Yugi turned off the faucet and look back in the mirror.

As hard as he tried, he could not stop his eyes from moving to the single photograph taped to side of his bathroom mirror. Yugi felt his eyes tear up as he stared at his prized possession. Five smiling faces met his sad one.

It had been four months.

Four months ago, Yugi had paid for a trip to go to Europe. He had paid for all six of his friends to go. It was going to be the trip of a lifetime. Three months touring Paris, Rome, London, and other exotic places. Yugi had wanted to go on such a trip in order to make up for all the slightly…interrupted ones they had taken when his other half had so many demons to battle.

Atemu was unable to make it. He was sure that Yugi's grandfather was going to need help around the shop and he had told Yugi that he could simply send photos and it would be like he was with them. Yugi had been very disappointed but he had refused to let anyone ruin this vacation.

On May 9th, they all boarded a small aircraft, thanks to Kaiba, and headed Europe. Eight people boarded the flight, and only one walked on the land ever again. During the land, the plane hit some turbulence. Normally this wouldn't have been a problem, however, the plane was going faster than it should have. When the plane hit a shear of wind, it literally exploded.

Yugi remembered little about the flight. He remembered boarding, watching the ocean, even eating a tuna sandwich. He remembered watching Honda, Anzu, Kaiba, Ryou, and Mai laughing at something Jou said. He remembered thinking everything was perfect.

The next thing Yugi remembered was the hospital. There was a bunch of Frenchman shouting to him, yelling at him in a language he didn't understand. Yugi remembered feeling great pain in every single portion of his body. What he didn't remember was seeing his friends crowding around him telling him he was going to make it, telling him that they were okay and this was all just a big misunderstanding.

The next few days went by like a blur for Yugi. He remembered his grandfather peaking at him from above, telling him to hang in there. He remembered feeling needles poking at him in all directions. He remembered the feeding tube being shoved down his throat. Everything was happening so fast.

When Yugi finally woke up, He felt his hand being tightly held by another being. Yugi remembered turning his head to see his darkness clasping their hands together. He watched Yugi with sorrow-filled eyes as Yugi glanced around.

Yugi remembered the story Atemu told him. Yugi thought he was kidding. All of his friends? All of them? Gone? Impossible! Very funny Pharaoh. It was wasn't a joke.

When the plane fell to pieces, Yugi's body had been perfectly planted between two seats, saving him from most of the debris flying threw the air. Pieces of the plane landed on the airstrip as well as broken bodies. Yugi's light weight had kept the impact to a minimum. The first people on the scene sad it was a miracle that he survived. His body had been mingled with seats from the plane, keeping his fall low grade.

Just because he had survived didn't mean he didn't suffer. Yugi had completely shattered his pelvis and his right arm. When Atemu was finished telling Yugi what happened, the hikari laughed. It was funny, sick, but funny. He never knew his other could be so twisted. As twisted as telling him that his friends, the friends he had invited on a vacation, the friends that were in the same plane as him, the very friends he was right beside, were gone? Very twisted.

However, the former king didn't laugh back. Instead, he stood and carefully climbed onto the hospital bed next to Yugi. He placed both hands on his shoulders and made the teenager look at him. Yugi knew the look of fear in his eyes had scared the king when Yugi finally realized it wasn't a joke. It wasn't funny. His friends were dead. And he was the only survivor.

A/N~ Kind of something I came up with tonight. Do you like it Larka?


	2. Chapter 2

Insanity's Hold- Chapter 2

Yugi stared at that picture for what seemed like centuries. He wondered where his friends were now. Were they in a special place like he hoped or waiting for him to join them? Perhaps neither, maybe they were waiting for him for a different reason, to pay him back for causing their deaths and not coming along with them. A small sob escaped the teen's throat but Yugi quickly covered his mouth and turned his back to the photograph.

His friends deserved more than that. They deserved to have whatever they wanted in their afterlives. Jou would want to play duel monsters while Honda and Anzu watched. Kaiba would want to hack at Jou's every move. Jou would get mad while everyone laughed. Ryou would probably try to break the two apart while Mai would roll her eyes at the immaturity of the two.

Yugi smiled at the fond memories of his friends. He bit his lip and stared at the floor wondering what his next move would be. As embarrassed as Yugi was about the idea, he had considered suicide. The idea of taking his own life was not very appealing but Yugi felt like if he did, it would be an even trade. The accidental deaths of his friends balanced by taking his own life would surely wipe away any anger or resentment his closest friends had towards him?

The small teen would no longer lie to himself, his friends were all around him. As much as the teen tried to imagine them happy in another place, he felt as if they weren't. He felt as if they were watching his every move, waiting for a way repay him for the wrong he had committed against them. Yugi swore he could smell their anger everywhere. Even after four months, the feeling wouldn't leave him.

His friends were trapped because of him and he had to set them free. Yugi turned back to the mirror and looked at himself for a long time. This was surely for the best. His death would pain Atemu and his grandfather, but they would understand in time. Yugi looked back at the photograph and felt an overwhelming calm rush over him. "I'm coming." He whispered.

Yugi turned the light off by the sink and walked back to his room, thinking of the best way to cross over to the other side. Yugi looked at his door to make sure it was still closed and flicked on his light switch. He sat on his bed and drew his knees up to his chest, looking around. He felt the air was thick with a strong emotion. Yugi couldn't place his finger on it but it was definitely not a positive emotion. It made Yugi's stomach do flip-flops but the teen took a deep breath. "It's just nerves." He sighed, turning his head to his night stand.

A bible.

Yugi locked eyes with the object. In his religion, people who took their own life spent eternity in hell for taking away the gift given to them. Yugi wasn't sure if he believed that but if it were true, then maybe it was what he deserved. His friends would no longer be forced to stay and watch him and Yugi would be able to suffer for his deeds.

He had never intended on his friends dying. Yugi knew that much and hopefully that would mean something good for his immortal soul. The teen let out another shaky sigh and gazed at the bible before breaking his stare and looking at the quilt. He would miss sleeping in his room. He would miss a lot of things in his life, but he missed his friends most of all.

Yugi heard a soft knock on his door and nearly jumped five feet. Placing a hand on his chest to settle his shaking heart, he turned to see Atemu peering from the hallway into his room. "Yugi?" The former king asked cautiously. He noticed the teen's awkward position and came into the room, shutting the door behind him. "Sorry, I did not intend to startle you." He whispered apologetically.

The teen gave a soft smile. "It's okay."

Atemu walked over to his former partner and placed his hand on Yugi's shoulder. "What keeps you up so late, little one?"

Yugi gave an amused look up at his other half, "I could ask you the same thing."

"Hm." Atemu thought for a moment, "That you could, however, I asked you first."

Yugi shrugged as Atemu sat next to him in his bed. "I don't know." He lied, looking at his toes.

"Do you want to talk?" Atemu asked, a little too lightly.

Yugi gave a sideways frown. "What about?" He inquired. "The fact that I'm not sleeping, or that I am failing school, or maybe the weather?"

The teen could hear his other half hold back a sigh. Frustration but patience emanated from him and it annoyed Yugi to some degree. How could his other half be so calm about this entire situation? Didn't it hurt him the way it hurt Yugi? Or did Yugi's friends not mean that much to Atemu? Yugi looked into crimson eyes who looked Yugi up and down. "Are you hungry?"

Yugi shook his head. "No, Atemu."

"Perhaps a warm cup of milk?"

"No." Yugi tried again. He wanted his other half to leave so that he could continue his planning. He didn't want Atemu trying to talk him out of what was thinking about doing. This was his decision, his payment, his burden to bear; and he would bare it alone.

Atemu met Yugi's gaze. "I just wish to help you---,"

"I know, Atemu." Yugi hushed. "I know. Just not now."

A few seconds of silence made Yugi feel like he was going to start squirming under the former pharaoh's strong gaze. Atemu could smell it; smell the strong emotions leaking off of Yugi. He scrutinized the teen and Yugi was glad that they no longer shared minds, or he would never be able to do what he was planning to do. "Yugi…I…" He paused, a worried look on his face. It was not a look Yugi was used to seeing and it bothered him so much he had to look away. "I just want you to know, I am here when you need me."

Yugi nodded, feeling like a complete ass. He should have said something along the lines of "I know, thank you Atemu" or even "I'm sorry for making you worry". But perhaps being an ass was better. If Atemu was mad at him, it would make his leaving this world a lot easier to deal with, right? He wouldn't have to worry about Yugi much longer. Yugi would be the burden of no one. This was the best thing to do.

Yugi could still feel Atemu's eyes on him. "Yugi?"

Dull amethyst looked at burning crimson. Yugi blinked at the emotion in his other half's eyes. It was a mix of emotions that Yugi couldn't place. It bothered him to no end that his other was not an open book he could read. It made it so hard to understand the former spirit. "Yeah?" Yugi replied.

"You are going to be okay." Atemu said, in more of a question than a statement.

Damn. "Yes." Yugi answered. It wasn't like he was lying. After he accomplished his goal tonight, he would be "okay". Yugi nodded again. "Yeah, everything is going to be fine." He said with a sad smile.

Atemu lifted his hand off Yugi's shoulder and grazed Yugi's forehead. Yugi blinked and looked at his dark side. Atemu wasn't one for physical contact with people other than Yugi but a touch to the face was out of character, even if it was Yugi. Atemu brushed Yugi's drooping hair out of his eyes and stood. "Get some sleep. You need it."

"I will soon. I promise. I just want to think for a little while." Yugi explained.

"Do not think too much." Atemu commented. "Do not hide in the past Yugi. They call it the past for a reason. Nothing you think about will change anything."

"I know." Yugi whispered sadly.

Another brush to his head made Yugi sigh and look up at his darker half. Emotion again in his eyes made Yugi uncomfortable. "I'm just…." Atemu began. _Please,_ Yugi pleaded in his head, _please don't say it, Atemu. Anything but that_. "I'm just glad I didn't lose you as well."

Damn it.

"Good night, Yugi." Atemu said before making his leave, shutting the door on his way out.

Yugi watched him go, a numb feeling creeping over him. He shook his head when the door clicked shut and looked at his feet. No words could talk him out of what he was going to do. This was the way things had to be. The teen looked around him room. Gods he was going to miss Atemu and his grandfather. He hoped they would be okay. They had each other and they wouldn't spend so much time worrying about him anymore.

The broken amethyst gazed around his room allowing his mind to clear. Now came the most difficult part, how was he going to do it? Yugi was only sure of one thing; he wanted it to hurt. He wanted to feel the pain her had put his friend's through by taking their "vacation". He wanted them to forgive him and the only way that was going to happen was by making his death painful.

Cutting? Yugi sighed, he didn't mind the idea of blood but it would be a quicker death. Strangulation? That was a no. He would have to go somewhere where no one could hear his struggles. That would involve searching for a place and Yugi didn't want to take time. He just wanted to get it over with without having the possibility of someone changing his mind. Tonight was the night.

Getting up, Yugi walking to the bathroom and flicked the light switch on. He located the picture on his bathroom with ease and sighed. "What guys?" He asked, "What do you want me to do?" Yugi's eyes traveled to the mirror where the dark circles under his eyes made him cringe. His eyes gazed at the cabinet as he opened it up. Biting his lower lip for the ninth time that night, shaking hands reached for a bottle kept there and shook it. It rattled with the sound of at least thirty pills.

Nervously, Yugi looked behind him, for some reason afraid that his other half would be watching him now. No one was there. Yugi turned back at the photograph and smiled. "I'm coming guys. I promise." He whispered.

Yugi carefully walked out into his bedroom and looked around the room. He was going to miss everything, now he was sure. It was amazing how much a person could miss something when they know they are going to lose it yet people who have no clue they are going to die abuse their everyday treasures like it was nothing. Yugi swallowed hard, grabbing his tennis shoes and a warm jacket.

The teen listened against the door for any signs of movement. Surely his other half was in his room right now. Yugi opened his door slowly as it not let it creak. He looked down the hallway to see his other half's door crack open with the light on. Against his personal judgment, Yugi crept up to the door to see his other half kneeling by his bed, praying. Praying to whom, Yugi was unsure. He watched as Atemu let out a sigh and whispered, "Please help him. Anyone who can hear me, if I cannot show him the way, than I beg you to."

Yugi felt wetness sting his eyes. Someone would help him very soon. Yugi watched his friend kneeling on the floor before sighing and mentally whispering his goodbye. _You'll understand one day, Atemu. You'll see. You'll be better off without me here dragging you down. You can go back to Egypt, have a family, everything that was taken away from you so long ago, you can have. Please don't blame yourself, okay? You're a good person._

As if hearing Yugi's thoughts, Atemu looked up suddenly and shot his gaze to his door. Quickly, Yugi ducted into the bathroom next to his room and hid behind the door, using the cracks to watch the former king. Yugi placed a hand over his mouth and held the bottle of pills close to him as not to make a sound as the former king walked to his doorway and opened his door. He glanced blankly into the hallway as if expecting to see someone that wasn't there. After a while, Yugi realized he was looking at Yugi's closed bedroom door. With a sigh, the king turned and shut his door for good.

_Good bye, other me._

Yugi snuck out from his hiding space and carefully walked downstairs. He stopped by his grandfather's room and peaked in. The older man slept peacefully. Yugi snuck in and looked at his grandfather's face, hoping this was not the last time he was ever see the old man. "I love you, grandpa." He whispered, leaning down to give the elderly man a kiss on the cheek. The man didn't so much as move and Yugi smile. "I'll miss you."

Yugi ventured out of the man's room, shutting the door behind him. He took one of the keys off the hook and opened the door, looking back at the kitchen in sadness. He couldn't stay here and do this. He couldn't bear to think how his grandfather or Atemu would react to finding his body in the morning. He wouldn't make them go through that. He closed the door and locked it with the key.

Sighing, the teen walked over to the sidewalk and waited to see and hail the last taxi he ever would in this lifetime.


End file.
